I had other things that I was going to say but I feel I must address an issue.

"I'm cool with it now. I just wonder what if? You know?"

I do not say things like this to drive anyone crazy. I do it because I can't really say what I want to say. It's hard to put things into the open. I know this is supposed to be my place to do that, but some things are just too personal. It's hard sometimes. I just want to be content. And I feel like I'm doing a good job of it, but I'd rather just not dwell on things. I just want to move on and not think so much about any of it. I know this is just as vauge and is probably making you more upset with me, but you will just have to deal with it. That's what I'm doing. I'm dealing with it. The level of your expectations is directly related to the level of your dissapointment when something doesn't go as planned. I had pretty high hopes. But I've realized that hope doesn't sustain anything. I'm just trying to learn to not put so much faith in it.

- posted by Jonathan@ 9:54 PM