Why am I always this way? I don't know what to do with myself. How do I know if this is for real? How can I tell? What if it's all in my head? Am I just fabricating all of this so I can be happy? Why can't I just be satisfied? I don't know what I'm doing. I don't want to give in, but I keep finding myself drifting. I dream about it at night it seems. But it isn't real, it can't be. I'm not good enough. I'm not ready. "'Speak quickly to me, before I fall.' Yeshua, come quickly." I wander these halls, these rooms. I walk these streets. I stare at these skies. And I breath these thoughts and dreams. I search the faces of others. I scour my own soul and body. I'm afraid to look behind me, but neither can I focus on anything beyond. "Shut my mouth and close my eyes, and let all my typing follow suit."

10:39 a.m. - CAT Class

- posted by Jonathan@ 10:49 PM