I hate this, I hate this, I hate this. I feel like pieces of me are just being ripped off -- like little sections of skin are being peeled away. And all my flesh is exposed beneath. But that's not good enough. And I know you don't do it out of spite. I know it's meant to convey such love. But it's hard to swallow. It always chokes me up. It blocks all of my air passages. What words could fit through all of that? What worth would they hold anyway? What worth is there in me? I can't see an end to these means. All I want is an end. I just want this to end. Jesus, lift me up from this whole I'm in. I don't like this darkness.

- posted by Jonathan@ 12:20 AM