An open letter to God:

Why does everything have to be so hard? It's times like these that make me hate my life. This past month has made me not want to be a Christian more than any other time I have ever known. This body of mine sighs Father. I thank You for all the blessings that You've given me, but I question my purpose. I question sometimes if You know what You're doing. Why would You ever even create man? Why would You not just destroy us all? Surely You have seen that there is no good left in mankind. We are a corrupted people. Like everything else on this earth. I feel ashamed to be known as a man. I feel sickened by all the times I stood by my belief that man could find salvation. There is no love. Even my own love for You is imperfect. I hold onto these selfish desires and I rely too heavily on my own foolish understanding. I am weak. I am so fake. I despise this world and the people in it. I long to be with You, and to be away from all of this. I find myself tiring of this race. The pain is becoming more than I can bear. I feel like everything I work for is doomed to fail. I see it falling down around me. There is no love. Only ego. Only selfishness. It's hard to be optimistic in such dark times. I fear I am not as strong as I once believed. Something must change. God, forgive my feeble heart. Forgive me for not having enough faith. Forgive me for failing. Forgive me for my hate. I just grow so tired of this world and it's meaningless pursuits. I'm sick of being misunderstood. I'm sick of the blindness that plauges this place. Everyone is so inwardly focused, yet so blind to the decay that is eating at them. I just want to give up so badly. I'm just sick of everything. There is no love anymore.

- posted by Jonathan@ 6:13 PM