This is all really disturbing. I knew that change was a part of growing up, but I guess I never truly grasped it. I never imagined that people would just start to write me off as insignificant in their big grown up lives. I don't understand how friendship can mean such different things to different people. I feel now like I've just been wasting all my time and effort and emotion. Because this hasn't all been just for me. I thought I was just a part of something more important than myself. This just sounds all too familiar. Like death. I guess I'm just dead in others' eyes. I guess I don't matter. None of this matters. I can't believe I'm even being faced with this again. What a bastard. How cruel we can be to one another. And I'm sure much of it is unintentional. But fuck you anyways.

I need you Jesus. I don't need this anger.

- posted by Jonathan@ 11:25 PM