I am such a sad, pathetic creature. And yet I am loved. Even though I am so underserving. And that is what makes that love so special and so beautiful. And that is what grates my skin. Everytime I forsake that love. And I was thinking about something the other night, about how I look at others. And it's not that I'm judging people, but I'm just thinking, "How can they be struggling with that? Why can't they just see that it's harmful to them and stop?" But then I realized all the harmful things that I do time and again, and how easy it would be for people to look at me and think the same thing. It's just like the way that I could look at a person who is really into cars, and I could think, "Why are they spending so much money on their car, I could buy a new drumset. . ." And that same person could look at me and think, "Why does he spend so much money on music stuff? I could fix my car up so nice with that money." We are all just so different. And I'm really trying to be loving and accepting of everyone. Honestly. Because that's all I want in return, but it's so frusterating when I don't get it. And yet I'm still expected to forgive and forget. And it's not that I mind, I just want people to take my feelings into consideration for once. So I thank everyone who realizes I'm not perfect and doesn't hold that against me.


- posted by Jonathan@ 3:58 PM