Idon'tknow.IguessIjustmissalotofthings.IlistentosadsoundingmusicandthenwonderwhyIamsosad.
Thisyearhasgivenmethemostreasonstolovebeingalive,butit'salsomademewanttodiemorethatanyothertimeinmylife
thatIcanremember.Andtherehavebeenquiteafewofthosetimes.ButIammostdefinatelyNOTsuicidal.
Notintheleast.Ihaven'tthoughtaboutkillingmyselfinlikethreeyears.AndthetimeswhenIdidwereprettysilly,
lookingbackonthem.Itwasallstupidstuff.AndIdidn'trealizehowmuchIreallyhad.AndhowmuchIwasreallyloved.
AndIdidn'treallyknowJesusverywell.Andwithouthim,everythingseemsbleak.
WhatanoutlookI'vedeveloped.I'mlookingforwardtothesummerandhopefullygettingawayfromthiscomfortableAmerica.
Toaplacewherepeoplearehopefullyreal.And(hopefully)regainingmyfaithinmankind.

Jesus Christ is the thing that keeps me going.


- posted by Jonathan@ 1:26 AM