Well. . .

I'm still trying to shake the slumber from my eyes. I've learned so much, but I've forgotten it all just as quickly. That's not the kind of person I want to be. That's not the follower of Christ I want to be. I want to be able to say, "God will have all of Jonathan Taube" and mean it. And then actually surrender myself. I've said it, and I've meant it, but I still struggle. Praise God for his grace and forgiveness. He is working on me. He is burning out sins, tearing down pride, washing mud from my eyes. I am wretched, it is true: but still, he's not given up on me. I'm at a point. I'm at a point. I'm at a point. . .

Last night, during a wonderful prayer, I was reminded again of what worship really is. I was so worried, and nervous about going to my corps this morning. This was only the second time I've been there since I've been home. And. . . I guess I was just afraid in a way. God has gotten me so excited and in love with the Salvation Army this summer. I've seen so much. . . excitement/ revival/ focus/ whatever, and then I seem to be watching my home corps fall apart. This week the officers weren't there again. I just don't know. I don't know what's going on. There is just so much that I don't even want to talk about. But I was praying about all of this last night, and God really just stopped me. And he reminded me that I am to worship him anyways. So I woke up this morning with a "Good morning Jesus" and a much better attitude. Was it almost painful to sit there this morning? Yes. Was God's spirit still blessed? Yes. My heart did beat faster when I heard him speak.

Please pray for the Janesville corps and to help me figure out what I am to do.

- posted by Jonathan@ 5:15 PM