Come On, Feel the Illinoise!

(You will listen to the new Sufjan Stevens album if you know what is good for you.)

Well, I leave tomorrow at 4:00 in the morning for the Bahamas. Exciting yes. Tiring, most definitely yes. I had the day off today and spent the entirety of it with my most darling Ceamona. It was beautiful. Much like her. I actually got into Chicago (Arlington Heights to be specific) Friday night/this morning at about midnight. Our previous week in Vincennes, Indiana was wonderful. Perhaps the best week of the summer yet. I got to work with some awesome kids and really connect I think. Share God's love with them. Help them learn. Pretty awesome. And our last day in town (Friday) I had the most awesome opportunity. There was an explosion of some sort in an abandoned warehouse where some chemicals were being stored, and for fear of some sort of fall-out (and due to the ensuing fires that could not be put out) a whole neighborhood was evacuated. Including three nursing homes that were in close proximity to the warehouse. So we got to respond, emergency disaster style, to a highschool where the residents were being kept. It was incredible. I spent about 5 hours helping all these elderly people. Linda showed me a man, Parish, who had no fingers on his left hand, and his right hand didn't work well, and he didn't have any teeth. So, I sat with him and fed him a cheeseburger by tearing it up into little pieces. It was so incredible. He could hardly talk, but I got to pray with him and he was crying and we talked about his son, and I wheeled him around in his chair, and held his hand, and it was amazing. I wanted to cry so much. All the people there. There was a blind woman who I prayed with. I talked with her about when Paul (then Saul) was stricken with blindness and how he had to trust God (that he had persecuted) totally. And Me and Linda sang "How Deep The Father's Love For Us" to this old man Joe, who started crying, and we got to pray with him, and I talked with him about how the Bible likens our earthly bodies unto tents. And how it says we yearn to slip out of our earthly bodies and into our heavenly bodies. And Marsha told me she needed help, and when I asked her what she needed, she said she wanted someone to sit next to her and listen to her talk. And It goes on and on. It was probably the best day of the summer so far. Jesus is just so incredible.

Also, I know I am pathetic. I know I possess a faith so feeble and weak. Apart from the grace of God, what have I? But even through my doubts, God provides for me. I found out that Jennifer and I get to keep the apartment, and the rent is very reasonable. The contract was interpreted, and the reasons for kicking her out found to be bogus. I'm not worried about finding work. I have options. I have the love of Christ. That's enough, really. Yeshua is all I really need.

I think I'm going to start sleeping outdoors.

I love you all so much. Honestly. No lie.

- posted by Jonathan@ 11:47 PM

 
What's up from freaking Indiana!!?!?! (Think 80's metal). So yeah, I'm in Indiana, doing my thing. We're doing a VBS right now. It's been pretty good the past few days. Also, helping fix up some stuff around the corps. It's a pretty small corps. Not much money or help. I got stung by two separate wasps today. I stumbled upon their nest. But then I laid waste to them with a can of insecticide. The kind specifically engineered to destroy their sorry type. Doing laundry, hooking up the internet. Anyone heard from Ian lately? Are my fish still alive? I hope so.

I don't really know if I'm going to stay in Janesville anymore. Jenni got kicked out of her apartment for what seem like a bunch of BS reasons. And they decided to tell her in a freaking Starbuck's of all places. And it wasn't like an arranged meeting. She just happened to be there with a friend, and I suppose they thought it was as good a time as ever. Rather lame in my opinion. So, I am out a living space again. We'll see, we'll see.

As angry/sad/worried/upset/scared/frustrated as I am, I still manage to function day to day. And I still manage to not break down. With everything that's going on in my life. . . I don't know. It's hard to explain. But I just keep having to remind myself, "Joy and peace are the fruit I reap." Over and over. And there are days where I just want to give up and go home. But I don't even have a home. And then I just cry, you know? I feel like such a baby. Like, I've just been crying all summer long. And I'm sure people are getting sick of it. I try not to make such a big deal out of everything. But again, I am surviving. I am alive right? Breathing? Full of possibilities? And I posses an empty future that I am trusting God to fill. God is good. All the time. I can honestly say that. Because even when I feel like being really angry, and maybe wanting to blame my problems on Him, I can just feel His love and understanding. Like, He really understands me. He went through a pain unlike anything. So, I don't know what I'm trying to say really. But I know that I don't have to worry. Sometimes I'm like Peter, I've walked on water, but I start to drown when I notice the waves. But other days I'm like Paul, singing with the shackles on my arms. And it is well with my soul.

Blessings!

- posted by Jonathan@ 5:42 PM