Something new.

- posted by Jonathan@ 12:13 PM

 
Man, I haven't felt like this in a long time.

But then it hits you all of the sudden. There's still that person whom you used to love (and you think you still you do, but you don't really know them well enough anymore to tell for sure), and you just wonder "what if?" It's funny how things happen I guess. One day you can be best friends with a person, then all the sudden, it's been a year or two and you wonder who they even are. It's like you still have the vague recollection of sharing something between the two of you, but you can't really remember what it was. Just that it's all dead ideas and cold windows on your back. And if the two of you met now, without any memory of your past life, would they even like you. Or would it still be all this wordless, smiling, back patting, hand shaking contempt?

And I wonder how a person can feel this way at 19. Already, like I miss the innocence of youth?
And I wonder how a person can change so much, so quickly, so carelessly.

And Christ still seems so confusing.

The one thing that people just can't accept. Why is it so hard to believe it? Can it really be considered a weakness for me to refuse to believe that I'm an accident? That my life holds no purpose? That love isn't real and I'm alone?

"Someday we're going to be dead. Take heart."

It's all lies!!!!!

- posted by Jonathan@ 3:53 PM

 
Ceamona and I celebrated two years this week! Pretty incredible! I look forward to many more fancy homemade dinners complete with bowls of Teddy Grahams.

I've been writing a lot of music and I'd really love a chance to get some of it recorded. It's fun playing by yourself, but I miss being in a band quite a bit. I actually finally talked to this guy and I'm going to get together with his band sometime soon, hopefully. We'll see how that goes.

If you ever do pray for me, please pray that I'll find a job. I have a couple promising leads and I'm going to call this bank tomorrow about an interview (I faxed them my resume today).

Thanks. Be kind.

- posted by Jonathan@ 8:28 PM

 
Man, how awesome is Jesus? I want to share something that I read on Erica's site. It's from the book "The Lost Message of Jesus" by Steve Chalke and Alan Mann. I'm really going to have to get a copy of this I think.

"Whatever he was, Jesus was never passive. Even the briefest reading of the Gospels quickly confirms this. And in line with everything else he stood for, his teaching about loving enemies was not a command for his followers to act like apathetic doormats. Rather he counselled active, creative, and strong responses to aggression, but without resorting to violence. He clearly viewed violence as not only in opposition to God's character, but ultimately impractical and impotent for solving dispute.

As part of his Sermon on the Mount, Jesus chose to address the issue of how to deal with injustice by presenting three vivid pictures. 'When someone slaps you on the right cheek,' he began, 'turn and let that person slap you on the other cheek' (Matthew 5:39). This piece of advice, if we are honest, seems absolutely ridiculous. Why should we let someone openly abuse us in this way without fighting back? However, Jesus' words would have sounded very different to the oppressed and downtrodden audience whom he first addressed. Whether they were for or against him, none could have failed to appreciate just how radical, active, and downright confrontational his teaching was.

In Jesus' illustration, the initial blow suffered by the victim would have been backhanded, designed not so much to injure as to offer insult, to humiliate and degrade. This kind of blow was only administered to 'inferiors', so a master would backhand his slaves, husbands their wives, and Romans, Jews. But by teaching his lowly hearers to turn the other cheek, Jesus wasn't suggesting they take this insult lying down. In fact, the reverse is true. By following Jesus' advice, a servant would make it impossible for his master to hit him again with the back of the hand. The left cheek may now have offered a perfect target to strike another blow, but strong cultural taboos meant that the person hitting could not use his left hand, which was kept for 'unclean' tasks. In practice this meant that aggressors only had one option if they wanted to continue to hit. Because they could only use their right hands, they would have to slap or punch their victims - but only equals fought this way.

Thus turning the other cheek wasn't passive; it was proactive. The 'inferior' was saying, 'I'm a human being, just like you. I refuse to be humiliated any longer. I am your equal. If you want to hit me again, you will have to acknowledge that.' Jesus' way was neither cowardly submission nor violent reprisal. It was non-violence, but definitely not non-resistance. It involved bold, energetic, and even costly confrontation."

- posted by Jonathan@ 12:55 PM

 
"For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him wil not perish but have eternal life. . . There is no judgment awaiting those who trust him. But those who do not trust him have already been judged for not believing in the only Son of God."

John 3:16, 18

Anna was pretty much great. I didn't mean to insinuate otherwise. And I do not know of the state of her heart at the moment of her death. I guess I was just a bit caught up in my own grief. It was wrong for me to assume, since I was only speaking based on my previous (and slightly out-of-date) knowledge. But I do stand by the fact that any person who does not claim the blood of Jesus Christ to pay the debt of their sins stands condemed. I myself am just dangling over the pit of hell. Saved only by the grace of God, and just barely. But I have been washed in his blood. That is why I am so overcome with grief. Even at the possibility that someone like Anna may or may not have ended up in hell. And I only wish I had done more to make sure she would and did not.

**************

"My friends in Christ, you are rescued from the waters, you are on the rock. He is in the dark sea calling on you to come to Him and help Him. Will you go? Look for yourselves. The surging sea of life, crowded with perishing multitudes, rolls up to the very spot on which you stand.

Leaving the vision, I now come to speak of the fact- a fact that is as real as the Bible, as real as the Christ who hung upon the cross, as real as the judgment day will be, and as real as the heaven and hell that will follow it. Look! Don’t be deceived by appearances- men and things are not what they seem. All who are not on the rock are in the sea! Look at them from the standpoint of the great White Throne, and what a sight you have! Jesus Christ, the Son of God is, through His Spirit, in the midst of this dying multitude, struggling to save them. And He is calling on you to jump into the sea- to go right away to His side and help Him in the holy strife."

- posted by Jonathan@ 2:06 AM

 
Anna

So last night I found out that this girl that I used to work with at Sentry just died. I don't know. I guess she was driving with a friend and their car got hit. We used to always talk about music. Like, she used to listen to a lot of pretty good music, but she listened to a lot of stupid music too. So I would make fun of her for the dumb bands she listened to, and I'd tell her about good bands she should check out. The only time we ever hung out together outside of work was when I invited her to see mewithoutyou. So she went with me and Ian and we drove to Dekalb. And like, on the way there we had this huge conversation about God. And I was just telling her my veiws on God, Jesus Christ, creation. And she talked about how she had been comndemed in the past by people in the church and how that turned her off to the whole God thing. And I remember that in the next day or so, I sent an email to my Grandmother, telling her about how I talked to Anna about God. This is part of the email she sent me back:

I'm glad you invited Anna. Jonathan...our God doesn't put people in our lives for no reason. So you must realize that Anna is an assignment. Pray for her to hear the Gospel from you in such a way that will reach her heart. She is assigned to you. What are you going to do about it? There is a new movement of boldness that presents the Gospel's Truth....and people are being saved left and right. Perhaps time is running out...and Christians are feeling the necessity to be quicker about it. There isn't always time to develop relationships for the sake of evangelizing. Or perhaps the person will not be long in your path...and you will not have input again. I cannot critize anyone for taking advantage of telling someone the Truth even harshly....for some....that is exactly what is needed. Being harsh isn't my way of presenting...but it was John the Baptist. The Truth is she is condemned because she has heard about the wonderful thing God has done and she has rejected it. However, God in His great mercy has sent her to you to hear the message again...in a more gentle, loving way....perhaps this time she will not reject it...the choice is hers. PRAY.

Again....it is now your responsibility to be sure she hears and sees the Gospel in action in your life as His Representative. Be bold. Be loving. Do not withhold the Truth. Come right out with it. God obviously has a plan here. There is something for both of you. We are about relationship evangelism in cells. Yes. But there are times when confrontation with the Gospel is legitimate. Listen to the Holy Spirit ...He knows what He's doing. Remember Jesus isn't just nice...He's brilliant....and He totally loves this girl....and is making sure she hears about what is real and what is eternal. The spirital battle for her life has begun. You must be the one to intercede for her. You are a Jedi....right? A warrior. Then do battle for her life. Satan wants her on His side.......Jesus died for her......the Spirit in you knows how to pray for her. JUST DO IT.

And I hardly ever prayed for Anna. Even before I moved. I feel so awful. I know it's not my fault or anything, but I can't help crying. I can't help thinking that she is in hell right now, and I didn't do enough to save her. I had the oppourtunity and I wasted it. I heard the call and I ignored it. I never talked to her about God again after that. And I feel so horrible. Jesus have mercy on me.

- posted by Jonathan@ 12:40 PM